Strength

3 weeks ago I had my hammertoe operated on. It was a pesky little surgery meant to sideline me for a week, 2 at most. Funny how we quickly learn that we may not be in complete control of our lives.
The surgery went very well and the next two days were spent in blissful narcotic recupperation. Then came the migraine and the heart palps and the jitters. I thought I was dying. And this wasn't the first time post op I've had this complication, however, this time it lasted for 4 days until we blasted that migraine outta my head with narcotics. And again I had 2 blissful energetic days (thank goodness as my dd came down with strep throat). Saturday night I had a reaction, to what, WHO KNOWS!! But I got the shakes, full body shakes and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had anxiety too. I was convinced I was taking myself to the ER but after insisting dh come home from his evening festivities he had me dope myself into slumber. The next day the shakes were gone but the jitteriness, heart palps, weakness and anxiety remained, for 2 weeks. Flash forward I have had 3 rounds of blood work, 2 ultrasounds, a 24 hr heart halter monitor and now an Echo. The diagnosis: Mono.  As far as diagnosis go, that's a pretty good one, not life threatening, no meds needed... but I'm not tired. I'm weak. Maybe its the same thing. Unfortunately it doesn't explain the heart palps and the anxiety. I'm not an anxious person!!! I take everything in stride but these symptoms are knocking me on my fleshy part (which, after a 15lb weight loss since surgery, is less fleshy). The palps usually only come at night when falling asleep, sometimes upon waking. The jitteryness lasts the better part of the day.
I had to call my mom to look after my kids during spring break. There is no way I could do it myself! I am forever grateful to her. I am also blessed with some wonderful friends who give me words of encouragement and drive my kids from A to B. 
Today is a relatively good day, less jitters than normal, and a massage to try to calm my body. I'm hoping this is the corner I'm turning but I'll take all the good thoughts you send my way. It's not a life threatening issue but it is a spirit killer.
Y'all better rush off to find a humerous blog as this one is just a downer today.