Thursday, December 1, 2011

Flaring Again

Well my friends I'm in need of a little support. You see I have Epstein Barr Virus. Usually it's quiet and I hardly think about but tonight I'm afraid I'm flaring again. The anxiety is back. I'm trying to ignore it but the damn beast hateS to be ignored. Thankfully the jitters, heart palps and restlessness aren't too bad (yet)- out damn anxiety, but I'm not sleeping at 1am so I'm clearly not feeling right. Oh and the anxiety makes me think I'm dying which I'm not but it's freakin' scary just the same. I know the Ativan would help but I took migraine Meds earlier and I don't know about taking both, and it's 1am so I don't want to be foggy when my kids get up at 6:00.
My kids have their winter concert tonight which I want to be well enough to go to,but worst is that my hubby is supposed to be at a GNR concert tonight and the anxiety wants me to beg him to stay home, actually the anxiety wants me to call my mother bawling and ask her to come look after me but my sister is sick with some pulmonary infection, and her husband is out of town and she has two little ones who don't sleep through the night well and my mom has a dinner party Sat. Night and I Know she would drop it all to be here which would make me feel guilty for taking her away from all those things. I really should take the Ativan and let my mind rest.
I think it was the massage that set me off, is that possible? Releasing all the toxins from my muscles? It's supposed to help my muscles relax.
Send me love and light and good thoughts my virtual friends I'm scared.

*morning update: not much sleep but i'm still here and my anxiety has gone to bed o I'm free for a while, now to see if I can get in to the dr today. The morning brings. Bit more optimism.


  1. I'm sorry to hear about your flare up with Epstein Barr... I know you mentioned massage, but could MSG sensitivity cause this? I ask because while MSG triggers migraines for me, I also notice an increase in heart rate as a result. Just a thought.

  2. Thanks for your comment "manage..." I get very sick with MSG but it doesn't usually include a headache, it definitely does increase my heart rate when I'm reacting to it though.